" damn near "

 [ "Damn Near" ]

1: Almost but not quite

  * e.g.,  ... I damn near cut off my finger. 

 [ "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" ]

1: Punch line to the joke listed below. Made popular by a scene in the movie Black Sheep where Chris Farely's character is loudly heard telling the punchline. Abscence of the body of the joke in the movie led many to believe the joke did not really exist and there was only a punchline.

  * e.g.,  ... Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was. "Horrible, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said. The teacher corrected, "Johnnie, we say 'rectum.'" Little Johnnie replied "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" 

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

1: This is the punchline of complete joke:

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

2: Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

3: "Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

4: She said, "Rectum."

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

5: "Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"

 [ "Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em" ]

1: A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.

  * e.g.,  ... There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one: One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.' As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**. Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.' The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em." Or this shorter version: Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend? 

 [ "Rectum, damn near killed him!" ]

1: A joke with no beginning only a punchline...

  * e.g.,  ... Phase 1, underpants! Phase 2....